Sometimes you win. Sometimes you don’t.

Always one to make the most of living in a foreign culture and indulge his love of history, our geeky Dad decided one weekend we should visit an ancient water village, famous for its canals and bridges, and not too far away. The Dragon Palace Hotel had been recommended. “As long as it has a pool,” we kids chorused.

Although Dad prides himself on his Chinese language proficiency, he asked Mum to make the reservation so that there could be no misunderstandings. The first thing Mum ascertained was that the picture of a pool on their website was actually there. Yes it was. Was the pool functioning? Yes, they had a very good filtration system. The reservation was made.

The holiday did not begin well. First, the car wouldn’t start. Flat battery. Dad wanted to call someone to fix it, but Mum said, “No! We can all bike there. It’ll only take an hour. It will be good for us.” So there we were, each with a small back pack, pedalling along past rice paddies and road side stalls featuring naked ducks, hanging by their necks. 

Uncharacteristically, Dad decided to take a shortcut using the bike lane going against the traffic. Illegal. Mum tried to dissuade him and for a very good reason. An officious man holding a flag stopped us, saying riding in the wrong lane was not permitted and Dad should be setting a better example to his children. Furthermore, Dad’s punishment was to get off his bike, hold the flag and stop anyone else from committing the same misdemeanour. He looked ridiculous. Mortified, we all had to wait, in the correct bike lane, until another hapless cyclist came along and Dad could pass the flag to him. Who needs policemen?

You can imagine how much we were all looking forward to that swim when we finally arrived at the hotel, two hours later, hot and sticky. We checked in, quickly changed and ran down to the pool. It was empty. Mum went ballistic, reminding the hotel manager she had specifically asked about the pool. His reply? “But, madam, you didn’t ask if there was any water in it.”

Sometimes you just can’t win.